Over
by NotYetLostFaith
Summary: Kate closed the door softly and leaned against it for a moment to steady her feet. Her heart was breaking but she wouldn't let him see that. ONESHOT


Author's Note-I watched the break up between Rachel and Ross on _Friends_ today and this is the result. I won't be continuing this. This is a oneshot and will stay that way. Read, review, enjoy. NYLF xx

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Kate closed the door softly and leaned against it for a moment to steady her feet. Her heart was breaking but she wouldn't let him see that. She took a deep breath and made her way to where he was sat on the couch.

"Kate, thank god, where were you? I was about to send a search party." Castle breathed as she sat down at the opposite end of the couch. Kate shook her head.

"I just needed a few minutes."

Castle nodded slowly.

They sat in silence for several minutes. Castle was dying to break it, make a joke and lighten the tension in the air, but he knew now wasn't the time.

"When I was twenty two, I was dating this guy." Kate started quietly. Castle had no idea where this was going, but the detached look in her eyes as she stared at the floor made him nervous. "We were going out for a few months when I came home and found him making out with one of my friends at the time." She swallowed before continuing. "I screamed and shouted and threw her out, promising never to speak to her again, but he managed to talk me down. He promised never again. That he loved me, only me, and that our relationship was stronger than a stupid mistake of a kiss. And I believed him."

She shook her head at herself. "It took me months to trust him again; it took nearly a month before I could sleep with him again. I got a text message from the same friend a few days after I'd slept with him again for the first time, but given how we left things last time, I ignored it. But, three days and five messages, later, I gave in and read them. She said that he'd been asking her to sleep with him all month because he wasn't getting what he needed at home. I confronted him and he denied it, stating that my friend was jealous and that I should trust him. It took a few days for me to get my head around to the thought that my friend would try to hurt me like that, but things went back to normal eventually. So months went by and we were happy. I was planning on marrying him, having his children one day not so far away." Again, she shook her head, taking a shaky breath. "I got home from dinner with my father and found him in bed with another girl." She chuckled sadly. "He couldn't even deny it. I walked in half way through."

"Kate..." Castle tried to interrupt but she shook her head.

"It took me a really long time to get over it. In fact, I never really trusted anyone not to hurt me like that until Demming." She tilted her head skyward to keep the tears from falling before staring back at the ground. "I never slept with him. We didn't get serious enough. I broke it off before we could, to come to the Hamptons with you. I had decided to trust you, to let my heart believe you wouldn't hurt me." She chuckled thickly. "You proved me wrong when you walked away arm in arm with Gina."

"Oh, Kate..." He tried again but she wouldn't let him.

"I hated you for months for hurting me. Then Josh came along. I knew he was more than likely cheating on me, but he was discrete and I knew I would never find out, that was enough for me." Castle looked heartbroken for her.

"Kate..."

"Then you told me you loved me. And I thought 'this is it. I've found someone who will love me for me, who will never hurt me, who I can jump in with and know he'll always be there to catch me because he loves me'."

Kate sighed, her breath shaking as she fought to keep her voice steady. "So I broke up with Josh, and spent three months trying to be good enough for you. And then I came back, and you were so angry at me, but I fought to win you back, to get you to trust me again. And it worked. We worked together for months and I tried so hard to get to a place where I was worthy of your love."

Rick shook his head, opened his mouth to protest, but she shook her head at him again.

"When I came to you, that night, I thought I was clear. I knew that you'd accept me for who I am, I knew you loved me and that you cared about me. I thought you'd be my 'one and done'." Kate's voice broke and Castle fought the urge to reach for her. "And then, not even a year later, I find out you've kissed someone else behind my back."

A single tear tracked down her cheek as she turned towards him, her eyes settling on his chest, not yet able to look him in the eye. "What happened, Rick? That starlet so pretty and available, that you decided to forget you had a steady girlfriend waiting for you at home? What's worse is you didn't even tell me. I had to find out through page, page six." She was loosing the battle against her tears.

"Kate, it meant nothing. She kissed me. If that picture had been taken a spilt second later it would have seen me pushing her off and explaining that I have a girlfriend." Kate shook her head. She looked back down at the floor and sighed softly, gently wiping her eyes. "Kate, please."

"I uhh, I'm gonna go now." She nearly whispered, her voice now void of all the emotion her eyes were trying to hide. "If you cared about me at all, if any of it was real, you won't follow me." Rick shook his head.

"Kate it was just a kiss, come on, it meant nothing. You cannot honestly feel that this is worth the end of everything we have?" Kate smiled wanly.

"It isn't even the kiss Rick. It's the fact you didn't tell me." Her brow furrowed at the pain in her chest. "If you had come home and told me, we could have talked about it. But you tried to hide it. I had to find out when someone left the paper on my desk. It was humiliating, Rick."

Castle opened his mouth but promptly shut it again.

"I'll uhh, I'll probably get the boys to come get my stuff. I'll try to convince them not to say anything but you know. They love me." The emotionless tone hit him straight in the gut. "They're family and they don't particularly appreciate when someone hurts me." Her voice cracked and it ripped through him like a bullet. "I'll tell Gates. Shell probably be glad to get shot of you. And I'll text Alexis, apologise that I won't be at dinner next week when she gets home."

"Kate, please..."

"It's okay, I won't tell her why." Rick shook his head vehemently.

"That isn't what I was worried about." Kate nodded quickly.

"I uhh, I need to go now. Please don't follow me Rick. If you ever loved me at all, you'll stay here." Rick jumped to his feet as she stood and moved to block her path. "Rick, please." She whispered brokenly. "Don't make this harder than it is."

"I'm not letting you leave Kate. I love you too much. You have to care about me to react like this so don't throw it all away for something so insignificant."

"I love you Rick. I love you so much. I don't think I've ever loved anyone half as much as I do you." She murmured around sobs that threatened to steal her voice. Rick's heart broke just a little more at the realisation that this was the first time she'd said it, and he'd never get to hear it again if she walked out that door.

"Then stay," Rick begged.

"I can't Rick. You, you, broke my h-heart." She sobbed, tears racing down her face. "I won't ever trust you the same. I couldn't ever kiss you without wondering if she was better. I can't make love to you if there's doubt that I'm giving you enough that you won't try to find it elsewhere." She cried.

Rick framed her face with both his hands and kissed her deeply, trying to give her every reassurance she needed, but she pulled away, her eyes closed despite the torrent of tears.

"You can't just kiss me and make this better Rick. It doesn't work like that." He pulled her in and held her tightly to his chest as she sobbed into his shoulder, his own tears falling into her hair.

"I love you Kate. Please don't leave me. I love you." She pulled back and gently rested her hand on his cheek, leaning in to kiss the other softly.

"I love you more." She stepped out of his arms and took wide strides to the door before closing it behind her.

Rick sank to the floor as Kate walked to the elevator, sobbing as she did. She couldn't believe it was over. This was it. She was never going to see him again.


End file.
